Embrace Confusion. Collect Answers. Put It All Together.
Someone asked me the other day in a private message: How many times has my bio changed in May 2017? There has maybe never been a better time to use the rolling-on-the-floor-with-tears-squirting-out emoji.
Because dude, I'm nothing if not self-aware.
My bio has changed a several times in the past year, and each time I hoped I'd finally found the thing that was "me" and which I'd always want to be known for. But I was fucking kidding myself because there was so much I was ignoring about myself AND I hadn't yet experienced The Quake.
Super dramatic, right? Well, yeah, it was.
All at once eardrum-rattling and quiet, destructive and constructive, The Quake was about a 10-minute walk during which time my entire understanding of personal power, how life works and manifestation moved.
It was as if the world moved under my feet, except I was the one propelling myself forward toward home that morning. I sort of watched in amazement as everything I'd ever learned about Law of Attraction and mindset work collapsed on itself and lined up in a way that was like lace: gorgeous and yet, as I held it closer to me, I could see clearly through it all.
A move I'd made three months prior -- to write out the mess I'd been trying very unskillfully to hide from the world and publish it for others to see -- and my subsequent sessions with a keyboard writing my truth made sense. This time I spent writing put me in creation mode. There's something about very honest expression of your soul & your humanity that helps you rise above into a zone of power previously associated with gods and goddesses.
I knew from those 3 months before May 25 that by focusing on the act of expression each morning, I set myself up to feel incredibly all day. It raised my vibration. And to be honest, I'd known this in some way much earlier in life, when I was writing fiction that my friends eagerly devoured in first period Latin classes when we were 14. When I wrote fiction I recognized the power I had to build and squash whatever I wanted in my writing.
So The Quake reminded me of this and put it in fancy new terms. I also saw how I had the tools (I'd been working hard to collect them over the past few years) to change my vibration even without writing but this expressive act has always been the 'medicine of my soul' and is so much fun for me. And I realized this biggie: Each of us has total dominion over our life experience; we are god and the center of the Universe and the star of the show all at once.
It was as if The Quake opened the system notes on an operating system that was always present and WAITING to be consciously used to change my life.
I now saw how every act of expression returns to you the gift of accessing your god-likeness, a place from which you have the power to create worlds. (This was a phrase I'd heard once or twice from Abraham Hicks that always sounded so powerful and beautiful but I couldn't action.)
Over the days that followed, I scribbled as fast as my hand would allow, writing 30-40 pages per day, about this 'operating system' and how one can deliberately employ the power of consciousness to change the world around them. The philosophy, if you will, came with its own name wanting urgently to screamed from rooftops: Access Your Godliness.
It's a name that aptly describes the power of those acts of expression that help us get into that power, though it doesn't cover everything else I've come to know and believe. But I'll be real honest & woo-woo here and tell you that my higher self told me in my journal this is the name.
I kinda wish it wasn't because I'd always struggled with Christian-Judaeo concepts of god and the old bits of me still there somewhere are whispering that people may 'leave it,' my whole school of thought, because of this title. However, it does actually feel really good to the 'new' Rosella, the post-Quake Rosella who is ready to go to the ends of the Earth to teach this.
So many things I'd done and consumed and learned and moved all came together. Like hearing Todd Herman talk about how he got his start by offering to waive his "speaking fee" for those who connected him with two others who might host him for a speaking gig, which I'd thought was so smart. I'd never really known how it fit for me to know that and USE it, but now? It was so clear.
My lace simile above is the most beautiful way I can think to describe how this all came together. And I want to leave it with this quote that Cara Alwill Leyba, she of The Champagne Diet brand & Girl Code book, shared on her Instagram today: "One day, maybe one year from now, maybe ten, you will look back in awe and see how it all lined up. How every last dot connected. How every heartbreak was a gateway to a breakthrough. How every 'no' made you stronger, bolder, and wiser. How every back that turned on you gave you the opportunity to realize you could do it alone." Amen, Cara!
It's that experience -- seeing all the dots connected, finally -- and now my vision of the path ahead that leads me to wildly forgive myself for ch-ch-ch-changing.
Someone the other day asked me, "How long have you been in this niche?" and I was really confused about how to answer. This isn't a "niche" to me; it's a total approach to life and spirituality that gives it context so it all makes sense. There's no one group of people for whom this message of mine is spot-on and others for whom it isn't... at least not based on demographics. And I totally believe this is what it was always coming to but the coming to it has taken up more of my life at this point than life after The Quake.
So my bio has changed a lot in the past. In the future? I only see it changing when I add book titles, press appearances and other accomplishments as the world's teacher of Access Your Godliness.
And if your bio/niche/work has changed and still doesn't quite feel right?