Why you got A's so easily in grade school, and struggle to receive your first clients as a New Coach
Freshman year of high school, I got straight A's. I was still obsessing over the boy I'd met that summer when he was scooping water ice at Rita's. And I managed to, while writing my first novel longhand during class, earn straight A's.
My teachers loved me, including the biology teacher nobody liked who nominated me for my first internship (and actual paying job) to start the summer after freshman year. It was a banner year for me, scholastic accomplishment-wise.
Sophomore year, I had a tougher time. Geometry was a greater challenge than the Algebra that came so easy to me. I started getting some B's and an occasional C mixed with those A's I was known for at home.
In fact, the A's were expected of me. Anything less and my parents wanted to know what more I was going to do to bring it up next semester.
It seemed the harder I worked in a subject, the worse my grade were. (This reached its pinnacle in a college science class; I studied, say, 4 hours for 1 test and got a failing grade. I studied 3.5 the next time and got a D. I studied still less next time and got a C. And so on...)
But perhaps worst of all, was that I'd feel proud of myself for how hard I worked in a specific subject (being that hard work was the thing we're supposed to prize most according to the typical upbringing), and still, when it brought about less than that perfect A, I was facing the question from my parents: "What are you going to do to bring it up?"
Even if I got a C one semester and a B the next, my progression was never celebrated. The absence of A was what counted.
If you were like I was, and you find yourself a New Coach (or other entrepreneur) without the money success or number of clients you've set as your goal, HEREIN lies the opportunity.
Look at your history. What did that younger you desire?
In the moments where I triumphantly turned a C into a B, I wanted to feel proud and to have my parents feel proud. I wanted to be celebrated and applauded. I wanted to know that I was loved, even without the A they simply expected me to bring home.
What did younger you learn?
I learned to feel confused about hard work and ease. (Which resulted in a very confused but Rosella looking to entrepreneurial leaders who preach ease, and other leaders who preach hard work, and alternately -- even day by day -- aligning with one group or the other only to question it. Shouldn't it be easy? Why can't I be proud of myself when I've worked hard?)
I learned that the expectations of others mattered more than my feelings.
I learned that my feelings -- especially pride or a sense of accomplishment -- should be predicated on OTHERS' thoughts.
I learned I can't be proud of myself unless I have the A's (the $10k+ months, the five- and six-figure launches).
These markers of success that I believed others expect of me eluded me because they were entangled in this hot mess of dis-empowering beliefs.
But I know I have the power to change ALL.
I now get to believe...
--> I do get A[mazing result]s easily and that is right.
--> I can be proud of the A's achieved with ease.
--> That the "hard work" I thought I was proud of myself for was really my own growth.
--> I can be proud of my GROWTH.
--> It's right to be proud of my ability to do the uncomfortable.
--> The more uncomfortable I allow myself to get, the more I see those incredible results I desire for myself.
--> My pride in myself is ALWAYS 1,000,000,000x more important than someone else's thoughts of me & my results.
--> Whatever the results, my growth is something of which I can be EXTREMELY proud.
So, let me ask you: Do you now choose to be proud of your own growth, whatever the results?
(HINT: You won't see the clients you desire until you do. You must recognize yourself before others can recognize you.)