I keep forgetting who I am.
It’s like I’m Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates. Head trauma got me all messed up and I need a video diary to watch each morning and remind me who I am and what’s important.
OK, maybe it’s not that bad. But in trying on different niches in business and trying to find MY thing, the thing for which I want to be known and am super fuckin’ excited to be talking about all day every day, I have mightily confused myself.
This is one of those things I probably should keep to myself so you’re not confused, but let’s be real, it doesn’t take me admitting I’m confused to confuse you. And yes, I just used the word ‘confuse’ too many damn times in one sentence… Sorry, Mrs. Gabow (my 7th grade RELA teacher -- as in, Reading English Language Arts because they had dumb names for English class).
You, if you’ve been following me for any length of time, have picked up on that confusion. It’s made you avoid taking action to work with me because what the hell was I going to help you with?
I’m clear now. I mean I have achieved a moment of pure clarity and I’m creating reminders for myself so I can hone my focus.
But before I really get to that, let’s talk about YOU.
Have you suffered from shiny object syndrome?
Let me guess…
You follow some amazing coaches or other entrepreneurs. You are so lit up by their own lit up-ness about their area of expertise you start to see it as the solution to all problems and you, wanting to both make money like they are and to help others, you start to zip yourself into their business skin.
This is not the first time or incarnation I’ve seen of imitation.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?
Or maybe you have very disparate gifts and you have simply never known how to put ‘em all together.
So the result is you, as someone wanting to make money in your own way (not having a J-O-B), feel really fuckin’ lost and in searching for answers bounce from thing to thing to thing.
I have in my lifetime aspired to be or worked as a teacher, fashion designer, magazine editor, hardcore investigative journalist, administrative assistant, public relations professional, ghostwriter, novelist, and marketing consultant.
That’s a lot of bouncing around. And I felt it mentally.
But the truth underneath all of those things are my skills and interests: creativity, writing, showing others the way things work, helping others share their own knowledge, and making money. And backing all those things, organizational skills.
I’ve been working with the same puzzle pieces all my life and trying to put them together to make a picture that keeps my attention.
You are, I’m sure, trying to do the same.
So what can I share about how to put it all together?
OWN ALL OF IT
Go ahead and own all of your skills, interests, professional abilities.
After deciding to give up journalism as my vocational pursuit, I thought I was done with writing. I stopped writing so much (other than the social media posts where I simply regurgitated the crap I read from others). I was focused mainly on finding the answer to the question: What will make me more money than I can spend?
And look -- I’ll NEVER say that wanting money (especially more than you can spend) is a bad thing. You need money to give life its fullest expression.
But I led myself to believe that the greatest gift I was given (and have had access to since, like, 6th grade) -- my ability to WRITE -- was something I should just give up.
Ew. That disgusts me… all the time I’ve wasted NOT writing.
The other thing I’ve long proven myself good at: taking action.
Before talking myself out of it, I started a digital magazine while in college. I took on multiple internships and freelance jobs while running that digital magazine and taking five classes each semester. I know how to take massive action, and I know how to take inspired action.
I am great at helping others bust through their blocks to take action.
STOP PUTTING YOURSELF INTO THE BOXES YOU THINK YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIT INTO.
I thought if I was going to make money as a marketing consultant, I had to give up creative writing or sharing the real me, including the current circumstances of my life. And so I tried to fit into that box. But I kept wanting to break out.
I avoided putting myself into the coach box because I wondered who the fuck am I to be a coach to anybody. But I also didn’t realize this was a way I could step OUT of all the other boxes and let my freak flag fly while owning all my crazy different talents and interests.
I just honestly didn’t know earlier in my life that this was a valuable service I could parlay into a living. And I’m sort of (crazy as it seems now) realizing that one of the tools I can use to do so is writing.
So it’s coming all together, finally.
I’m calling myself a mindset coach because my struggles in life to believe I’m worthy and to allow myself to receive have shown me that simply BELIEVING, TRUSTING, FAITHING (I know I just fuckin’ made that up), in the Universe to provide and ME to receive it all is the key to a happy, fulfilled life. But I now know I am so much more than JUST a coach focused on one topic.
The more I let go and stop trying to force myself into some box, the more I open up to receive amazing opportunities I couldn’t have controlled into being.
BREAK OFF A PIECE OF IT TO SHARE WITH OTHERS IF YOU WANNA MONETIZE IT.
This is the hardest part for me, and my feelings about it continue to shift.
The other day I had to write an introduction to present to a Facebook Group I was guest hosting. I didn’t think that anything I’d ever previously written about who I am, what I do and how I help others was really going to be a match for where I’m currently at.
Then I found a shorter post I’d written about my ability to help others figure out what was stopping them from taking the action they desired to take. It needed a few tweaks, but there I was: or at least, there a piece of me was. A piece of my value to the world all summed up in a pretty tidy little package.
Because basically, that’s what I want to do, what I was BORN to do: Help others figure out for themselves HOW to get moving. It’s not about me pushing them up the hill or showing them a bald path. It’s about helping them build their muscles to move the boulders out of their way. (And using metaphors often to convey to them my own purpose and theirs! Teehee.)
I get really annoyed when people ask me to do things FOR them. I’ve never been particularly good at asking other people to do stuff for me so I’ve never been one to like being asked to do for others. (Though it’s different when I want to VOLUNTEER to do for someone… I’ve got problems with authority!) And so, I’d rather show someone else how to do for themselves what I can do for myself.
This includes getting out of my own way to take action.
So…. Who am I?
In a small, digestible chunk, here’s how I describe my power:
“I am a Mindset Coach, and I especially love working with women entrepreneurs to help them master the growth mindset necessary to achieve Rosier Results in terms of their impact, financial wealth and happiness with their lives.
“Early in my work with a client and then over and over, I help my clients figure out what exactly STOPS them DEAD in their tracks so the train can get moving again. (Resistance takes many forms: fear, limiting beliefs, perfectionism, and more. It often looks like procrastination or failing to think big. You stay stuck and struggle to achieve what you want.) Once you know what's been stopping you, action is so much easier! Sheer willpower isn't always enough to get your train moving again. I firmly believe that discovering what your resistance actually is empowers you to move past it.
“On one particular call, I got straight to the heart of the other woman's resistance to doing Facebook Live. She revealed to me that she worried about saying ‘the wrong thing.’ When I asked her, ‘What could you possibly say that would be wrong?’ She couldn't identify a single thing. Poof! Resistance zapped! A few days later she did her first Live, all because on that call she had a breakthrough. Because that's what the breakthroughs sometimes look like: realizing there's nothing logical about the resistance and then BOOM! the action is easy AF.”
And these three paragraphs remind me (in no particular order):
(1) I’m a damn good writer.
(2) I’m a great action-taker.
(3) I’m a teacher/coach.
(4) I help others get unstuck.
So, to DAILY REMIND MYSELF OF WHO I AM, I printed this out and taped it in the front of my journal (which naturally goes everywhere with me). I can read it each morning and again whenever I need a reminder of who I really am.
Because let’s be real: There’s no shame in needing to remind yourself of your power. In fact, I think the reason any of us fall prey to fear is because we’ve forgotten we’re the powerful children of the Universe.
As such, you’ve got gifts to own and share with the rest of us, your brothers and sisters.
If you need to write down a statement that captures the essence of your power to read over and over until you get it, you just go right on ahead.
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