Allow Expectations to Be Shaped by Reality or Your Reality to Be Shaped By Decisions
Expectations develop naturally over time if you don’t consciously set them.
My experience of one woman I’ve known since middle school is that she’ll always complain about her life (which can lead me to complain and feel bad about my life), and that formed after many experiences with her where that was the result. I do my best now to avoid conversations with her because of it.
It’s likely that if I consciously changed my expectation of her, my experience of her would change.
Because we can either let the expectations be set by external experience — or experience a reality shaped by our expectations.
Of course we must remain unattached (because everybody has free will).
It’s not worth getting upset when our newly-set consciously-decided expectations aren’t met initially.
Change can take time after you’ve practiced one expectation for so long.