Feel It Inside To See It Outside
Imaginary peace is the way you'll feel true peace.
Or, more accurately, they are the SAME thing.
When you tell me you need to see something in the "real" world first to make you feel peace (or any other emotion), you are remaining a victim to the outside world.
Do you want to remain a victim?
Well, obviously as far as I'm concerned, some part of you does. You really have to confront this part of you. What do you get from remaining the victim?
Honestly, I can imagine. It just feels easier because you don't have to take responsibility for not having the life you fantasize about. You wait for something external to change because the work of changing yourself is too hard.
In fact, I know you, and how, right now, you're just wishing I would validate you; tell you it's not your fault and you can do anything. Like a damn cheerleader. Well, I'm not going to.
I do truly believe you are capable of anything -- just as we all are -- but you won't actually achieve if YOU don't believe.
If you notice you share a doubt or fear and get a string of people telling you, "It's OK, you can do it," or something similarly affirmative, there's your sign right there that you're in victim mode. All of your well-meaning friends felt the need to jump in and "rescue" you from your doubts and fears. But I'm honestly starting to believe that's the least helpful thing to do. Which is why I'm writing this.
Seriously, the most helpful thing anyone can do in such a situation -- even if it TRIGGERS THE FUCK OUT OF YOU -- is point out, "You need to reclaim your power, because you sound like a victim here."
I *do* find it hard to show up this way because I start feeling like, "People will hate me, think I'm victim-blaming, that I'm a total bitch who just doesn't understand."
And yet I'm really realizing that the people who've actually helped me, who've changed my life whether or not they know it, did so by triggering me.
Some people intentionally, consistently exert effort to with the intention of making others feel ashamed, angry, embarrassed, sad and a whole slew of other nasty emotions. But learning to recognize intent can be incredibly helpful.
When you know someone is well-meaning and you feel embarrassed, hurt, troubled or whatever by something they've said, recognize that there is some truth there that you don't want to face. That's what being triggered is.
But anyway.... The deepest truth, if you can step out of victimhood long enough to let it sink in, is that you won't see peace externally until you feel it internally.
Same as anything else.
You won't see love externally until you feel it internally.
You won't see joy externally until you feel it internally.
You won't see passion externally until you feel it internally.
You won't see beauty externally until you feel it internally.
You won't see ANYTHING externally until you feel it internally.
At first, you may not be able to sustain the emotion within for very long at all. You'll feel fleeting moments of peace if you aren't very practiced yet. And then you'll be able to hold it for minutes at a time. And then hours. Eventually days, weeks, it's a way of being for you.
I'm not saying it happens all at once and permanently, but you must first believe you're capable of changing your own emotions, regardless of the external, and then you can get better and better at actually experiencing it.
Stand in your power to create internally, and externally, anything you desire. Stop giving that power to things and people outside of yourself.
Oh, and always trust-
Your truth unlocks a whole big crazy cool life. Share if you dare!
With fervent hopes you'll return the love (truth),