Make The Love Last After You Manifest Your Soulmate
Today is the start of my 8th year with Chris. (It's actually our 7th anniversary, but I had an epiphany recently about how that belies the true amount of time we've spent living an integrated life.)
Chris came home last night from a night out, and he was a little drunk. It's not always easy to pull him away from his gaming to have an intimate discussion, but took a walk to the nearby diner and, over the meal we carried home, we talked about what makes us work so perfectly together.
Some of the thoughts that came up:
We know who we want to come home to at the end of the day.
We accept the person we love for whom they are entirely.
We let our fair share of things go, but can also calmly address things that need to be covered between the two of us.
We're highly affectionate with each other, but we let that evolve naturally in the beginning.
We choose each other every day.
Chris and I know some settlers, man. People who make it their job in life to settle for whatever life gives them. And Chris and I? We're risk takers.
We took a risk on each other in May 2010, and that risk has paid off. We also support each other to continue taking risks. From buying our first car together to leaving bullshit jobs behind... From moving out of family homes into our first apartment to choosing to pursue creative endeavors that most of our loved ones can't understand... We've jumped off ledges holding each others hands.
Honestly? I didn't even know I was looking for a partner who would jump with me when I found Chris.
We met when I was 18, almost 19. Chris was 23.
I'd spent years praying for a boyfriend who would love me for exactly who I am. I visualized sitting with my love in a car, singing along to the tunes of the 80s and 90s. I saw us spending holidays together. I imagined hanging on the couch with my then-faceless love. I wanted to be with someone who supported me in my writing ambitions.
I hoped for someone tall, but I mostly I just wanted to be with someone who loved me more than anything or anyone.
Deep inside, I believed, KNEW, that I'd find someone perfect for me. Cast in a way that he is EVERYTHING I need and desire in a partner.
I held that belief, and then we found each other.
And our life together is proof that whether you consciously or unconsciously do so....
You CHOOSE EVERYTHING you get in life.
Not every day have I consciously chosen Chris as my partner but I certainly have made that choice each day.
Then there are the times when it's more consciously done, decided. Like when he's frustrating me (as does happen because, hello, we're human), I consciously choose whether to let go of the negative feelings and remember why I love him.
And I know he feels the same: that he chooses me as his partner every day.
There's enough friction in life that could tear any good-for-each-other couple apart but letting outside circumstances change your relationship would be a decision.